This Comic's Cast:

I really need to give Simon someone that can speak English. I gotta have a real conversation for him at some point, cause goddamn if these aren't one-sided walls of text. Oy.

Also, I feel like I've done a joke like this before (probably in CVRPG). It's a bit of a retread, and I apologize for that. I'll try better in the future.
 
    

When evil spreads across the land, and darkness rises and the monsters roam. When the creatures of the night make beautiful music, and the things that go bump in the night go bump with greater enthusiasm. When the world is in peril and is in need of a hero...

These guys are, sadly, the best the world can hope for. These are the adventures of the heroes of CVRPG. They mean well, they try hard, and occasionally they do the impossible...

They actually do something heroic.