This Comic's Cast:

Now, I realize I'm just playing with the standard "Darkmoon can't navigate his way our of a paper bag" trope, but it wouldn't feel like a proper adventure game set in the CVRPG world if he didn't get lost at least once.

Also, I think the narrator is just being spiteful now.
 
    

When evil spreads across the land, and darkness rises and the monsters roam. When the creatures of the night make beautiful music, and the things that go bump in the night go bump with greater enthusiasm. When the world is in peril and is in need of a hero...

These guys are, sadly, the best the world can hope for. These are the adventures of the heroes of CVRPG. They mean well, they try hard, and occasionally they do the impossible...

They actually do something heroic.