Humor, achieved. In reality I don't have anything that even resembles damaged sprites for Shaft, so I ended up ignoring this part of the story over and over... and then I came up with this.

Honestly, I like this better.
 
    

When evil spreads across the land, and darkness rises and the monsters roam. When the creatures of the night make beautiful music, and the things that go bump in the night go bump with greater enthusiasm. When the world is in peril and is in need of a hero...

These guys are, sadly, the best the world can hope for. These are the adventures of the heroes of CVRPG. They mean well, they try hard, and occasionally they do the impossible...

They actually do something heroic.