I just read Alec Blue's dialogue in a thick, New York-style, Jewish accent. Makes it better, I think.

I had to explain how Blue got the mistletoe, and this seemed like a way to do it. I never established that the wreaths and all were magic, just that Red used them. If they aren't magic but physical weapons, Red would need a good supplier. Blue could get them cheap, and it all makes sense -- those elves charge extra for overtime work.
 
    

When evil spreads across the land, and darkness rises and the monsters roam. When the creatures of the night make beautiful music, and the things that go bump in the night go bump with greater enthusiasm. When the world is in peril and is in need of a hero...

These guys are, sadly, the best the world can hope for. These are the adventures of the heroes of CVRPG. They mean well, they try hard, and occasionally they do the impossible...

They actually do something heroic.