This Comic's Storylines:

Two things. One, vampires normally can't eat food. This is a detail I've pretty well ignored.
Two, Jews aren't supposed to eat raw meat (I'm fairly certain about this). The meat has to be blooded and properly prepared. Frankie and Mummy eat meat right of the (potentially still squirming) source. Why crabs are such a sin is anyone's guess.
The crispy crab pumps are a gag I stole from an episode of the West Wing.
 
    

When evil spreads across the land, and darkness rises and the monsters roam. When the creatures of the night make beautiful music, and the things that go bump in the night go bump with greater enthusiasm. When the world is in peril and is in need of a hero...

These guys are, sadly, the best the world can hope for. These are the adventures of the heroes of CVRPG. They mean well, they try hard, and occasionally they do the impossible...

They actually do something heroic.